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Praktijk voor coaching en bewustwording

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Posted on June 9, 2014 at 9:18 AM

                                         Je schaduwzijde

Ieder mens heeft een schaduwzijde. Wat houdt dat eigenlijk in? Je schaduwzijde is dat deel van jou dat je niet onder ogen wil zien, kan zien, afwijst, onderdrukt, veroordeelt, niet toelaat, waar je geen grip of hebt, maar wat wel grip op jou heeft.

Je schaduw is vaak ook je blinde vlek. ‘’De splinter in het oog van een ander zien, maar de balk in je eigen oog niet’’, of ‘’een bord voor je kop hebben’’, zijn uitdrukkingen die wijzen op blinde vlekken die we allemaal hebben.

De schaduwzijde, die je bij jezelf niet ziet, neem je wel waar bij de ander. Dat gaat vaak gepaard met ergernis, onbegrip, boosheid, en kost enorm veel energie dat je beter voor andere zaken kunt gebruiken. Met andere woorden: je zal je niet ergeren aan iemand als dat gedrag van die persoon niet in jou wordt onderdrukt. Hoe meer je je ergert aan iemand of iets, hoe meer je dat deel van jezelf onderdrukt.

Als je er van overtuigd bent dat je het gedrag van de ander veroordeelt omdat jij je nooit zo zult gedragen is dat jouw conditionering. Door karakter, opvoeding en beïnvloeding heb je dit aangeleerd. De ander heeft dit echter vanuit zijn verleden ook geleerd.

Je kunt de volgende oefening doen: pak pen en paper en schrijf de namen van 3 personen op waar je de meeste moeite mee hebt.

Noteer bij elke persoon 3 eigenschappen waar je de meeste moeite mee hebt.

Noteer uit deze 9 eigenschappen de 3 eigenschappen die het meest voorkomen, of als er meerdere zijn, de 3 waar je de meeste weerstand bij voelt.

Dit zijn vrijwel zeker de 3 eigenschappen die in je schaduwzijde zitten en waar je de meeste strijd mee levert.

Belangrijk is dat je eerlijk naar jezelf bent, dit herkent en erkent. Vanaf dat moment kan je hiermee aan het werk gaan.

Als je in een situatie terechtkomt waarbij je je ergert kan je jezelf afvragen wat je hiervan kunt leren. Ervaar het en voel het. Laat het aanwezig zijn en kijk in gedachten van een afstand naar jezelf. Daardoor leer je je schaduwkanten kennen en zal je hiermee bewuster omgaan. Zoek momenten op om met jezelf ‘’in gesprek’’ te gaan.

Als je je schaduwzijde beter leert kennen en accepteert dat dit aanwezig is neemt je bewustzijn toe, zal je je minder ergeren en je gedachtegang rustiger worden. Het gevolg is dat je relaxter wordt en je tijd en energie aan andere, veelal positieve zaken gaat besteden.



Categories: schaduwzijde

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